The Boy

I've just realised that in my last post, it was suggested my life was perhaps heading in a totally contradictory direction than what was originally set out in this blog. Rest assured that such dalliances with alcohol etc will remain minimal and will not compromise the integrity of this blog about sobriety and the joys of!

Yesterday I helped R Kid on a shoot in her studio. The extent of help was minimal. I stood around and did some test shots so the correct lighting could be decided on. Collected lunch. Picked up the hair stylist and read Purple. The model was a mega hottie. This is her blog:

http://headbandclub.blogspot.com

Went to Corsica studios on Thursday night with the wife. My main agenda was to perv on my new crush maybe even a engage in a bit of casual flirtation. However upon seeing my new love, I literally turned and ran away, hiding behind a wall. In all I failed miserably on accounts of perving and flirting. I have encountered The Boy 3 times in my life; enough encounters to develop an unrealistic crush on him . The first time was at R Kid's birthday party back in July, when I had no interest in him and thought he was kinda unmemorable. Secondly was last week, when I was beginning to think of him as less of douchebag and more in terms of fit, fanciable, hot male. This third encounter was probably my least favourite time in his presence. Now, I will have to pretend that I was not running and hiding and merely failed to acknowledge him (this lie will be quite unbelievable owing to his v tall stature.) Actual conversation could be hard from here on out as I am hopeless talking to boys I really fancy especially when mutual friends know of my intentions with said boy. Oh Gawddddddddddddddd.

In film and television news, I watched Antichrist yeasterday. If Strauby ever reads this I would very much like her to explain this film to me as she was the one who informed me of this film. I am in deed a bit of a philistine when it comes to arty films like this. I find it hard to understand if it had some deep underlying religious meanings or whether Lars Von Trier just wanted to make a scary horror film. Confused?!

More importantly though, Eastenders!! Darren Miller? Heath? Producing George Michael Trott.......Really? OMFG. I really don't think I can articulate my shock at this storyline, so I will just leave it there.

Need to get a Halloween costume sorted this week. I hate fancy dress, I really think I was born without the fancy dress gene. I am still in my goth schoool girl phase at the moment, so Craft characters and Wednesday and Morticia Adams are not really "fancy" dress for me. Hmmmmm??!!

peace 15+

BIBS

Ohhhh sheeet. I have been away from the blog for sooooooooooooooo long. I bet you guys have missed me. Jokes. Anyways, no internet for two weeks in the Stokey mansion + full time workage = less time to blog. But don't worry, after a little reinspiration from Big In The Heath Blogger, Newbs, I'm ready to go and hold on to your butts ( wanted to get that JP quote in there) I've got a big blog.

Firstly, work is brillers. I do very much enjoy spending my evenings watching bands and perving on fit boys. My no drinking at work rule has pretty much exited through the Macbeth's window and I would hazard a guess that my units of alcohol consumption per week has quadrupled. I'm quite sure that given another month I will frequently be found on the roof terrace with a Le String around my arm and a spoon between my toes. Great.

There have been a fair few good bands on at work; the best one thus far would be Band of Skulls

http://www.myspace.com/bandofskulls

I kinda fancy the girl Emma due to her immense long and ganglyness. She reminds me of what I would look like if I could actually play an instrument. What was even better about BOS was that they have a song on the new Twilight soundtrack. I got talking to the drummer and told him of my long time love for R Pattz and he kindly invited me to the soundtrack party in November, where potentiality R Pattz will be and in the moment of seeing me will ditch his skanky gf, come home with me, impregnate me with his vampire sperm and and live happily ever after in Stokey.

Plan B will be something like go to the party, swoon in the absence of R Pattz, get taken home by the paramedics and go back to work the next day. Cool.

On Saturday I attended my first squat party. It was grimey to say the least. The

Macbeth crew and myself arrived at about 4am and I was kinda expecting to find the party winding down with everyone's ketamine taking, inducing vacuous holes in their brains. But to my surprise the party was in full swing, granted there were a lot of K rooms and bodies toppled onto each other but the main area was definitely still pumping. Antics included kneeling a lot and dancing like Shakira, running around the house with my crazy ass mate Miss Mascara and finding as many fuse boxes to shut down as possible. In all, the Squallyoaks party was pretty spesh.

Ooh just heard that The Horrors are hosting NYE at the Macbeth which will be fucking sweet. I am working the AA Halloween party next Saturday at The Black Lotus where I think I will come dressed as a paedophile and perv on young trendy boys. Amazers. Off to meet the mother for tea and inform her of my demise since moving to London. She will not be happy.

peace +15

CCBM Me Babe

Fucking eh great weekend with the kids of AA. 15+was out in full force. My throat is still really fucked from the awesome duet performed by myself and J Miltiadopolopolis in honour of Carl and Pete. Jumped around so much and tried to create a mini mosh pit in the karaoke room, could hardly get the words out! Deb Deb's beef with the poof bouncer was truly spectacular and the goodbye moon was impressive.....what a woman, what a legend!

Came into the possession of a celeb crackberry last night.... debated whether or not to sell it to Heatworld, but my integrity is clearly of the highest standard and I kept it spafe, obvs had a nose before the wasted celeb, suprisingly came back to reclaim her property.

Getting pretty bored of not being allowed in to the mansion in Stokey. I need to prepare the boudoir and getting kicked out of R Kid's every so often is kinda lame. Spent 5 squid on a wifi card at Starbucks so now I can spend my homeless times in there. Brilliant.

Went pretty fucking crazy at the last car boot sale of the year on Sunday. Spent a total of 4 squid on some impressive clothes. I also have a new obsession with collecting glasses, decanters and glass bottles, I really don't know why. I think I am aspiring to becoming an antique dealer and live in a shop so full of junk, kinda channeling the pirate ship at the end of The Goonies.
Tired and off to work.

peace 15+

So ALTERNATIVEEEEE!

http://www.myspace.com/ioecho

these cunts sound quite good and she looks pretty fit with half her face masked by that fringe.

Beautiful

x

what's the matter kid? Never had Lamb chop before?

Gettttaaaautttaaamypub!!!! So I'd been wanting to use my Peggy Mitchell line at the new bar, seeing as I haven't used it in a couple of years, but it turns out the MaccyB is big on lairyness and embraces all things drunk and debaucherous. I have spied numerous fitties around my new neighbourhood and I am in need of some major chirpage, but I need my WingWoman Newbs to be at the helm of another NCW. She is a true leader by examplerrr!

I purchased some Supernoodles for my tea today for the first time in about 4 years. They always appear so tempting and cheap and are then hugely disappointing. I yearn for the days of home cooked food waiting for me on the table after getting in from a hard day's work in the stockroom. Ah man it's gona be pizza night tomorrow, I hope them 'rents of mine shed a tear over their anchovies.

Biking around the East End is also a treacherous task. I thought I would just be another cunty poser on my bike, but turns out it's fecking hard work staying alive on these Landin Streets.

Went to the bike shop off Brick Lane the other day and there were all these losers hanging out and enquiring about....errrrrrrrr.....1 gear bikes....? I think they called them.... Fixies...??!!! I mean, like, seriously, WTF are these pricks thinking. Do you not understand the beauty of a 15 gear minimum bike.....?? huh? Dickheads!

Peace 15+

Taylor Vaughn, I'm a bitch

Check out the bobos on superfreak! Watching She's All That. Drank the obligatory 3 pints on Friday night, was wasted and apparently revealed my secret crush on Newb's bro! Have started paying my rent to R Kid in form of washing, cleaning and ad hoc studio manager duties. SIck. Now R Kid has left me to return to Bristol and I'm rather missing her. I'm sure in a week she will be fed up of me hanging around the studio like a big Loooooserr. Anyway nature finds a way.

peace 15+

x

fucking idiots

So last night me and Newbs went to see Florence and were both in absolute agreement that The Academy in Bristol is fucking wank and that only major dickheads attend gigs there. Newbs and I are obviously excluded, cos we are ridiculously cool. There were so many old people that were clearly fulfilling their one gig a year quota. I love overhearing random people's conversations, cos no matter what they are talking about, it's pretty much guaranteed that I will think they are a fucking idiot. The conversation I am referring to was between these two goons and their female, loser mate. They were overheard saying how the last gig they went to was Razorshite and how totally awesome they were.....yep okay then...So imagine a venue full of tossers like this, me and Newbs were in our people hating element.

Hung around at the aftershow for a bit. Florence was being really, really, really, really, ridiculously loud, working the room and bouncing off the walls. Well done Flo. I love you. Newbs saw The XX leaving the aftershow party with a wrap, might have been coke, might have been MDMA, might have been Ket. You decide. Wish we would have partied with the 18 year olds....Me and Newbs are regulars on the Granny scene these days. Since hitting the big time on the Indie scene circa 2000ish, both Newbs and myself have retired from such prolific activities and we can now instead be found hanging out at Newb's minimal new house in Southville listening to Roxette and Sinead O Connor after 3 ciders for me and 2 JD and cokes for her. Like any good relationship, I will keep you hanging on and will not be giving up all the goods when we have only just met. So untill next time

Peace 15+

devirginisation

hello to all douchebags that have taken the time to read my blog. I love you.